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Sep 14, 2019

In this episode of The Intelligent Divorce with Mark Banschick, M.D., we discuss needy and clingy personality types.  Have you been with this type of person or was it you that displayed these traits?

Neediness Pushes People Away: When the relationship is no longer in the “whirlwind romantic” stage, you may feel the need to cling too much in order to maintain what you had. “What’s wrong?” “I feel like you are not there.” Anxiety occurs because you sense a change, but you may be responding to something completely normal. It’s a burden to have to deal with a clingy lover. “Everything is fine.” Will you just stop it?” The irony is that as you push your concerns forward, you partner may just decide it is too much to deal with.

And if you're the clingy person and you are involved with a narcissist, this can turn explosive.  There is no shame to admit that you are too clingy. And there are usually good reasons why you became that way; like anxieties in early childhood. Good relationships are worth a lot, so if you’ve got a tendency to be too needy, do something about it. Work on overcoming the wounds of the past, and make better relationships in the future.

While it’s fine to test the temperature of a relationship, be aware that your neediness may undermine a stable bond between you and your partner. And, if you are that partner, you may want to listen to this show and have some empathy. There’s a lot that can be done to keep your love fresh, with the help of counseling.

For more on Dr. Mark Banschick, visit: